As Mad As A Hatter
by pixienewt676
Summary: They said absence makes the hearts grow fonder. But what would happen if the Wonderland's champion came back to Aboveland with a surprise? What if the surprise was the final ingredient for the society to deem her as a lunatic? and what if she has finally lost her muchness?. Will she ever come back to the Hatter again?.
1. Prologue

**-Introduction-**

* * *

After the battle had ended and the jabberwocky had been slain, Alice Kingsleigh, daughter of the ever so brilliant Charles Kingsleigh, was given the opportunity to go back to the land above.

With the bottle clasped inside her hand, she opened the lid with deep concentration. 'Would everything be worth it?' Turning her eyes upwards, she can see the various creatures lurking about, cleaning up the mess that had happened in the battlefield. She tried to open her mouth to attempt to raise the lid close to her bottom lip, but she found no willpower to do so. Wonderland, or what it is really called, Underland, has crept up inside a very special place inside her heart, tugging through the empty spaces where she wished her home could've given her.

"You could stay" a brogue voice came tickling the space between her neck and shoulder, making her shiver inwardly as she find her knees feeling wobbly. She turned around to make interaction with the mad man, inching her eyes upward to stare at the expressive pair of green eyes that she has been familiar of.

"What an idea. A crazy and brilliant idea, Tarrant" she tasted the name that rolled from her tongue, feeling the hummingbirds flying wildly inside the chambers of her stomach. She haven't addressed him by his given name before, but she had cursed herself that she did not done it sooner.

The man who was two inch taller than her grinned, with his green eyes changed into a lighter shade. She clutched the bottle tighter and held it against the skin that was securing her heart underneath. 'How could she say no to this hopeful feature?How could she say no to the man who makes her feel- well.. She doesn't know what she feels. But it was surely something of importance. "You know I have to Tarrant. What of my mother? My sister? They might be losing their heads because of me" she chocked back a sob and tried to blink away the tears from prickling.

"They cannot possibly lose their heads, who could be cold enough to lay an axe to yer maman and sibling? I bet yer meh sweet, if semwern wou' hurt yer, and yer beloved wee fam'ly, I shall lay meh hands on 'te-"

"Tarrant" despite the overlapping emotions underneath, she mustered to giggle with his silliness and for taking her figure of speech too seriously. With that notion, she felt her heart throb with ache, knowing how much she would miss the milliner the most. She would miss his eyes, or his bushy eyebrows. She would miss his lack of sanity, the way a scottish accent would seem to appear whenever he would feel such intimate levels of his emotions. She would miss his eyes and the way they change colors. She would miss him. Everything about him. a whole lot more than she would ever admit.

"Thank you, I'm fine" he whispered, his eyes changing into his deep green once more, the same one that he wore a while ago when he was sad and gloomy.

"I've been considering words that begin with letter L. Those such as longing, light, and-" Tarrant leaned close to her ear, his eyes closed with concentration as his voice went husky and deep. "-love" Alice sighed hoarsely. Her eyebrows furrowed against each other as the pain fell freely from her eyes.

Oh dear. Even Alice, who's been oblivious of things such as this, knows that this is a confession. And with that, she knows she couldn't leave him. Would she be willing enough to leave this slightly healing man all alone all over again?. Was she really martyr that she could leave these feelings in this beloved land and cope with a broken heart?.

She enveloped her arms around him, squeezing him tightly as if she is not ready to let go. His tailored suit smelled like new cloth, husk and Tarrant. Everything that she has found herself memorizing and craving each single day. "Give me a week to sort everything with you, Tarrant. Just you and me"

She knows that she should make the best of her given day. And with that she started it with her tiptoes, and her lips against his.

* * *

That night after the battle, Alice decided to settle down temporarily into Tarrant's residence in the queen's castle. They drank tea and shared a French toast as if they were only enjoying a tea party like the one he had held before the battle.

They talked about the famous landmarks back above (on which they both agreed they could not compare to the beauties in Underland), then to the traditions (they both laughed at some of them) and finally, her sudden fixed marriage.

"D'you lerv' 'im?" He asked, hesitance visible in his worried pair of yellow eyes.

"That man is dreadfully dull"

When it was bed time, she laid next to him, both staring at the pale ceiling above. She thought of marriage and how she was certain she will never feel enamored with another man other than the mad one next to her "Would you make love to me?" She let the question slide from her tongue, her emotions had gotten the best of her.

And she wishes he would.

"Alice"

"Before I go, I wanted it to be our parting gift. I wanted everybody to know that you will, and would always be the one who is right for me. I wanted to vow my everything to you. My innocence. My surrender. Well, of course, if you do not want to-"

"Alice. My Alice. My proper sized Alice. I want teh' make it right. Yeh see, I lerv yeh, lass" he took her hand and placed it directly to his heart. She gasped as she felt it beat erratically against her palm.

"Marry me then, Tarrant. Make me wholly yours and you to me" she leaned closer to him, her eyes pleading while searching for his. Tarrant closed the gap between them and captured her lips to his. "I know I would love you. Along the path of our separation, I will always think of you, long for your touch and your gentleness. I know, Tarrant, nobody would ever make me feel the way you do"

"My Alice, I have already submitted myself to you"

There was a tingly sensation around her fourth finger, and she glanced at it, bewildered. On her pale finger secures a faint golden color that has a shape of a ring. She turned to him then, peeking at his own finger and saw the same magic to his own.

"What is this?"

"It is a sign of commitment Alice. On the day of our wedding, it will glow and shape as the ring that we desire, securing our future as husband and wife" he recited almost as if it was his favorite sonnet. He smiled almost lost in thoughts, staring dreamily at the ceiling above and repeating 'My Alice' over and over again like a prayer. She grinned at the idea. Liking the absurdness of if all.

They were the Bestest of friends. The mad and the odd one. The Alice and the Hatter. Alice and Tarrant. Tarrant and Alice. Husband and wife.

"Forever?" She asked

"Yes" and he replied.

* * *

The night was filled with promises of the future together, whilst taking pleasure of each other's skin. With the moonlight guiding them underneath with shadow's lit, they took pleasure of memorizing each drop and curve of the other's body, moving in synch as the want and need combined altogether.

At their first joining, they stared curiously at each other, the muffled gasps and deep screams were nothing compared to the realization of green eyes meeting brown ones. The trust, the love, the friendship poured oozily from their irises, meeting halfway through pleasure and passion.

The morning after was celebrated with a reenactment of the night's event, only that there were soft giggling and playful banters could be heard underneath the quilt.

Alice looked at Tarrant's eyes, frowning in realization of the possibilities that could happen. At what could ever happen of their blurry future. At what could happen to Tarrant if she would continue making him fall. At what could happen if she could possibly be fully inlove with-. Tarrant saw the fear in her eyes, and he took her hand then-something that she found him making a habit of, kissing her knuckles one by one as she smiled tearfully in return.

How could she be so selfish? Well, after the battle, she was destined to be selfish... But would she actually prefer being selfish of her own feelings but making Tarrant's suffer? Would she prefer hurting him more than he would bargain of, just because she can't make a choice?.

"Tarrant, why is a raven like a writing desk?"

The mad man in question blinked, his bushy eyebrows raised with a heavy line appearing on his too pale forehead.

"I haven't the slightest idea, my wee Alice"

"Yet, some things are better off unexplained" she mustered. Her answer having a deeper meaning than just one.

"There is always a reason behind everything, lass. But I strongly believe there is a reason for not telling. And it is always a good one"

With a nod, she silently hoped it was true and that he would forgive her.

For the sake of them both.

* * *

The clock churned at twelve o clock and she immediately awoke with sad eyes. 'How could she possibly leave the warmth of the body laying next to her? Could she really sacrifice all of these and go back to lonely nights and surviving alone?'

She leaned over Tarrant's pale face, staring at his porcelain skin and his pair of closed wild eyes. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps. The creases and worries temporarily gone from his ever so expressive face.

"Fairfarren Tarrant" she whispered lightly; the madman has the tendency of waking up to even the lightest of noise. She laid a lingering kiss on the tip of his nose, then to his lips.

She stood up as light as she could, her eyes glued to the peaceful form upon the bed.

"Someday.." She reached for the bottle inside her pocket. The bottle seemed to boil with irritation with how long she had made it wait. When the bottle was opened and was leveled to her eyes, she finally laid it to her bottom lip.

If only...

"I'll come back" she tipped the bottle and the blood poured swiftly to her throat.

If she could...

She gulped the burning liquid for it to finally rest into the cage of her stomach. Her vision got blurry and the room seemed to produce fogs out of nowhere.

"Hopefully" Tarrant's sleeping form was swallowed by the thick fog, and was replaced with a dark setting. Alice gasped as the wind enveloped her within and then, she felt like she was being pulled up. Being forced and sucked in by an invisible force. Yet, she did not felt alarmed, she already felt it, but only with the sensation of falling. It was just like that, yet it was only being pulled instead of being pushed.

She landed with a soft thud against the earth of Aboveland. With a sigh, she stood up and came back to the sudden proposal that she would surely decline.

* * *

_I'm not entirely sure if I could finish this story. I'm not even sure if I should post this like.. Right now!. But this idea (been inspired with a bunch of stories I have read between these two) seemed to bug me for some time now, and I have to work out this writer's block for my other story so this has been my release! Btw, I must warn you guys, I'm actually prone of not completing things whenever they are on the verge of being finished, yup I suck. And these school stuffs will eventually hinder my writing updates. So an early apology is a must!._

_I'm sorry for the grammatical errors! (Especially when I'm using my phone to update ugh) I'm prone of not reading my stuff before updating a chapter._

_Also sorry for the oocness of the characters! I'm new with writing in the Alice In Wonderland thread.. So we'll work on it._

_reviews are welcome. But please no bashing, I'm delicate. :(_

_fairfarren dearies!_


	2. Prologue: First Trimester

**GameGIRL14 Thankyou for being the first reviewer! Yey -gives you a virtual hug- thankyou so much xx. No it does not sound stupid dear :). I wrote this chapter ****on my note app first, then I copy-paste it on the copy paste section in this doc manager :). Hope that will help you. :). **

**Prologue: 1st Trimester **

* * *

After the failed proposal from Hamish, Alice then accepted the business partnership with Lord Ascott;she promised herself that she is going to do something serious for once in her life and that is to fulfill her father's dream of going to China-which she might actually enjoy because it is also promising and adventurous.

She was given a month for her to say goodbye to the family that she will depart from for about five months. Although with hesitance, Helen sniffed back a sad sob as she decided it was the best for her peculiar child. Alice was never with the in-crowd, she was certain of that. Yet, she had always known that Alice was born to stand out; no matter what their society might think. No matter what she thinks.

When Alice refused Hamish's proposal, she was fuming with embarrassment, shaking with such intensity she was almost certain the ground would swallow her whole. Yet, when Alice said that the young lad was not the man for her, she grew suspicious. Why couldn't he? Did she met someone when she had bumped her head? Was it true that there's still hope for her impossible daughter?. And was that man worthy of taking a second glance?.

"Alice, what is the matter?" She positioned her hand to join her other on her lap, looking at her younger daughter as Alice continued staring as if in pain, unto her stuffed turkey leg.

"I seem to be ill, mother. I do not know what is wrong with me" Alice slouched down unto her seat, her eyes closed with agony. Helen grimaced with her daughter's laid down action, shushing her inner monologue that seemed to be reciting about table manners.

"What had caused this incident? Surely, there must be a starting point!" Helen looked at Alice with concern. The pain was visible on her state, she seems as if she is about to throw everything out from her system. "My stuffed turkey. It smells." Alice opened her teary eyes at her, her mouth heaving deep and shaky.

"Excuse me" Alice jumped as sudden as her seat went falling to the marble ground. When the chair collided beneath, she rushed across their dining area and locked herself in the comforts of their lavatory. Once the lock was clicked, the occupants of the dining room went silent as an unexpected barfing could be heard.

Helen glanced nervously towards the occupied lavatory, clutching her fork tightly as a thought came to her mind.

Alice can be such a surprise over every single thing that she does. But could this be one of them? Is it possible?.

No. It cannot be. It is against the understanding of their society.

"Is it possible that our Alice is with child?" Margaret implied, her hand twitching at the side of the table as if waiting to-well, just have a function. In this state, Helen knows that both of them were thinking the same thing, and actually nervous about the possibility.

Well, it is not as if they're certain of it. One moment, her daughter had declined a lord's proposal of a promised future, then next, she is off, vomiting suspiciously unto their lavatory like a pregnant woman?.

"She cannot be, what would our society think of our family if she is?" Helen questioned, her eyes widening with fear for her daughter's sake. "Who would ever want to marry a woman who already has a child?"

"I do not care of what they think of me mother." Alice emerged from the lavatory door looking paler than her normal tone. She stormed angrily right infront of the twosome, the irritation clear inside her dark eyes. "If I am really with child, I do not think it is their business to meddle into my private life"

"You admit that you have done the act then?" Margaret asked. There was sincerity inside her question, no kind of innuendos, and just an innocent upbringing. However, as the question fell from Margaret's tongue, the younger Kingsleigh took it as a sign for retreat from the questioning.

Alice stood silent for a second, her jaw was clenched and her eyes went blank. The silence was absurd, too loud that Helen, herself, felt like she was about to cry for her daughter's inner struggle.

"I believe you have a little baby to attend to, Margaret" Without another word, Alice turned sharply from them. Looking at her behind, the mother and the older sister glanced at one another, curious and slightly frightened of what is happening to their impossible Alice.

And upon why the girl didn't even bother answering their question.

* * *

Alice locked her wooden door with a loud thug. She was hyperventilating, her inhales and exhales were fast as her heart thugged erratically inside the confines of her rib cage. She fought the panic attack that was itching to appear. She cannot fully understand what was currently happening to her, but she knows that there might be a possibility of the fertilization.

She curled her fist as a bile went tumbling up to her throat. Sliding down from the door, she made a resounding thug as her bottom reached the floor. Underneath the floor of her room, she could feel her mother and sister talking about her, the way they would bow characteristically and whisper hush words, hoping the younger Kingsleigh could not hear. But she does. She always does. And right now, she is positive that they're talking about her.. plus, pregnancy.

Alice groaned and mentally checked herself if she could stand up. When her toes decided that they could function, she used them to lead herself towards the glass that rests on her wall. On seeing her reflection, she gulped down the hesitance and moved to take a peak on her side view state.

"You could do this Alice, it is just a little bit of imagination" she removed the buttons of her dress and let it slide off of her frame. The chill went tumbling to her almost exposed skin, making her close her eyes and shiver. Through her mission of removing her layers of clothing, she found herself thinking and trying to remember every detail of the world that she grew to love. She remembered the talkative flowers, the argumentation of the twins, the kindness of the White Queen, the jabberwocky... Tarrant.

She halted when a shiver traveled all over again on the base of her now exposed spine. Shaking her head from imagining further, she then turned her attention towards the glass, her eyes widening with disbelief with what it was resulted.

There was a pregnant silence between the mirror and herself. When she said that she would overcome whatever consequence she would receive after their act, she was still blown away of the reflection infront of her.

She laid her hand on the obvious bump resting on her frame. From the moment her skin met contact with the skin of her tummy, she felt something moving inside her system. She stood shock, eyeing the bump on the reflection for a moment, then her eyes gave way for the tears to run.

Upon her reflection she stood in awe, letting her eyes go foggy as she cannot see from the blur anymore.

Once her hands met her eyes to rub the tears from her face, the reflection on the glass mirror infront of her changed into somebody she was now. Cold, naked, and possibly carrying a child.

She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to find comfort for the possibility of a wild future.

* * *

After a month of staying with her family, she finally arrived to China with a slightly recognizable bump resting underneath her breasts. Right after the day she saw a reflection of her pregnant self on her glass mirror, a doctor had arrived to their home; granted with her mother's invitation, and confirmed that she was indeed, carrying a child.

After the confirmation with the doctor, her mother immediately ran up to her and asked who was the father was. She told her not to worry, told her that she was engaged, told her he was enough.

That Tarrant was enough.

When Helen was shown to be unconvinced, she loosely shrugged, ignoring the ache that built itself inside her chest.

* * *

When she arrived at China, she was immediately greeted with doctor appointments every weekend; on the courtesy of Lord Ascott's fatherly strictness and care.

The doctor was rather.. amused by the development of the child inside her womb. On her second month, it was said that the baby was surprisingly, fast with their development. Alice could sense the suspicion that had surrounded her, but she easily brushed it off claiming that she was just lucky. She shrugged off the thought of her child's parentage as well as she forced herself to ignore the reality of what has been happening to her.

* * *

During at midnight by her fourth month, she stirred from her sleep with a strange sensation circulating around her bump. She woke up with a heavy head that seemed to ponder second by second. Blinking away the sleep from her eyes, her room was dark, too dark that the only light that can be seen was a gold glow hanging beneath her bump.

"Alice?" there was a faint whisper lurking about the dark room. Upon hearing the familiar voice, she tried to spring herself off of her cot, but her body felt as if she was being tied down unto it.

"Tarrant? help me" she twists and turns her wrists from the invisible barrier, desperate to end the struggle that she was facing. The dark room was too quiet then, and it made no move to even respond to her pleas.

There were sweats that had formed on her forehead, then they dropping slowly down to her tangled hair. Seeing that she cannot do anything about her current situation, she sighed, untying the stressed muscles down and forced herself to relax. A minute had passed as it seemed, and Alice's body grew tired. As if by force of nature, the tiredness enveloped her like a seal on a parchment, and slowly the breath in her lungs were being sucked right out of her.

She flinched from the agony that her lungs were taking. One by one, her eyes were being forced to blink as memories came jumping out from her orbs. She tried to squirm away from the invisible intruder but the more she forced to retreat, the more the memories were quick to get out from her thoughts and as well as inside the inner workings of her mind.

_Wonderland.. Underland.. Charles Kingsleigh... Absolem... Butterfly... Roses.. Hatter... Hatter?.. Tarrant... child... offspring?_

_"_No.. Stop!" Alice woke up arising from the bed that she was in. Moving her eyes back and forth to her surroundings. Upon realizing that she was still safe in Lord Ascott's manor in China, she sighed and buried herself deep unto the cotton of her mattress. "Tarrant, whatever shall I do?" she rests her hand atop on her small bump, biting her lower lip slightly as she repeat every single thing about Underland in her mind all over again.

* * *

Reviews are very much welcome :) hope you guys liked it xx. Please do leave a comment on the review section! Reviews make everybody feel inspired to update :)


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